The Heart Behind It

Erin Moberly: Certified Personal Development Coach
 

Originally from Minnesota, I moved to Scottsdale, Arizona in 2004 at the age of 22. I was a hairstylist at the time then went back to school at Arizona State University to earn my BA in Business Management. While in college, I stopped doing hair and began working full-time as a bartender. Due to the economic environment when I graduated in 2008, I continued my job as a bartender until the age of 30 when I was hired for my first corporate job.

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As you may have guessed by that resume, my 20’s involved A LOT of partying. The drinking culture in Scottsdale is strong and I was all in for it. By the time I hit my 30’s, I had fully conditioned myself into believing that alcohol was the ticket to connection, fun, friendships, and overcoming shyness. After I met my husband in 2012, I spent less time in the bar scene but continued my daily drinking habit at home.

 

While there were many things about drinking that I enjoyed, I always felt so much shame around the times I took it too far. I hated the fact that I focused so much on health and fitness but continued to give alcohol a free pass. I also questioned at times if drinking was becoming more of something I needed rather than something I wanted. But I continuously pushed those thoughts back down convincing myself that once we started a family I was sure to grow out of it.

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Chris and I got married in 2015 and we started our family in 2016. While the drinking was put on pause during my pregnancies and nursing, I quickly transitioned into the ‘mommy wine culture’ believing the nightly glasses of chardonnay were the glue holding it all together. Instead of outgrowing the drinking, it just evolved in a different way. 

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I continued to grapple with the shame I felt around it so I started to implement some moderation practices – only drinking on the weekends, only drinking beer or wine, only having one drink per night, etc. – none of them ever stuck. Even though I was still handling all my responsibilities and seemingly thriving from the outside, I knew in my heart it was time to make a change.

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My first ‘day one’ was on August 4th, 2023. It was our boys’ first day of kindergarten and 1st grade – I decided it would be a fresh start for me too. I made it 42 days until my birthday when I decided to have a glass of wine at dinner. I went about a week again without drinking but then fell right back into my habit. My second ‘day one’ was on January 1st, 2024 – I made it 52 days that time then caved to the stress of buying and selling a house. 

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Both times left me feeling pretty disappointed in myself, but I learned so much from those breaks that I just considered them to be data points on my journey. My last ‘day one’ was on August 5th, 2024. I listened to several quit lit audio books and podcasts, but for the most part I just white knuckled my way through on my own. It was lonely, heavy, scary, confusing and frustrating.

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There is so much amazing support available to those choosing to go alcohol-free – I wish I would have had the courage to explore it which is why I’m now so passionate about coaching others. I got my Life Coaching Certification in August of 2025 and have discovered such a deep sense of purpose in helping other women find their way back to their true self.

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Is your story similar in that you are not at rock bottom or completely ruining your life, but you know you deserve better for yourself? I got you.